The Procrastin8r: Tomorrow May Never Come

Obama is The MAn

2008-11-08T07:37:00.002-08:00

Barack Hussain Obama is the first black man to be the President of the United States of America.

It's unbelievable, scary, thrilling, worrisome exciting, inspirational and sublime.

Black people have never been happier about a singular subject. People around the world have never been happier about America. Up here in Montreal Quebec, ask anyone what they think and they'll explode into ecstatic conversation.

Incredible how this contrasts the McCain ticket. Had the preposterous Republican ticket of the Old Man and his Nurse been elected, the shadow of depression cast upon the consciousness of the world by the Bush Administration would deepen. America's Last Chance would have to wait another four years, if we lasted that long under President Palin.

A friend of mine said something I'm sure many black folk are thinking: that you can no longer say 'The Man' because Obama is president. But skin colour and heritage does not necessarily mean he can change the way things have always been.

But there's hope.

Still, Barack Obama IS part of the system and so are we. Every time we buy Nikeys Ruffles and diamonds we're the Man. Shop@ Walmart and Ikea we're the man, eat factory-farmed meat and go to the Dollarstore we're the man.

But

President-elect Obama does something McCain could never do in a thousand years: make people smile millions of miles away. Have people cheering "Yes we can" and smile his name to a complete stranger.

Even if it's a conspiracy and the Republicans offered such a pathetic ticket in Palin and McCain that we almost had no choice but to choose the most logical, charismatic, intelligent, young and honourable candidate, Obama gives us something we haven't had in a long time: hope.

I believe. All we can do is wait and see and maybe, just maybe, try and let him inspire us to be better people.

Special Request

2008-11-03T19:53:00.002-08:00

If Barack Obama becomes the First Black President of the United States of America, I hereby request a small favour:

Can those who use the word 'nigga' please replace it with 'Obama'?

Thank you

We represent the People!

2008-10-25T07:32:00.002-07:00

That's right Joe The Plumber! Sure my lifestyle's different from yours; You don't fly around in a private jet for work, but you understand that. You also understand that a lady needs to look good to woo you, frame my disarming charm and charisma with Versace and Prada. You understand that my stylist gets paid more than the Republican party Foreign Policy Advisor, because style is much more important than how we treat them there foreigners! After all, didn't we handle the Taliban?

$150,000 is a respectable amount of money to keep me looking sharp when I stumble over my words from those horrible reporters and their tricky questions. They actually think they're being fair! But don't you worry my fellow Americans. I'm here to help you cling to your religion and guns, cuz by golly, look what it's gotten us so far!

UHm....

2008-10-18T06:44:00.001-07:00

Does the last thing in the world you should do feel so good beCAUSE it's the last thing in the world you should do?

The Wrong Wing

2008-10-10T18:13:00.002-07:00

Damn.

Whatever happened to that book? My Moms got me this book of world tales when I was a yung'n. A big blue hardcover with a colourful sleeve long since torn and tattered. Grease stains adorned the cover--hey! Maybe I can get another on eBay...

In it churned tales from around the world, some familiar, most not, each accompanied by beautifully painted illustrations. One such story was The Emperor's New Clothing, its hucksters always off-frame save for their gestculating hands. Of course when the emperor and his entourage toured the city in a nude parade all but one went along. This person seemed to be a beggar, in the illustration, black and apparently too simple to bullshit his majesty. He got a smack for his idiocy. I feel much like that beggar save for the bitch-slap.

Has anyone noticed?

No one is willing to admit they're wrong. Oop! I voted for a Fratboy President, sorry! How was I to know? 'God Bless America' seemed all he breathed and that was good enough for me.

The factless will go along with the tide even when exposed for the hook-line-and-sinkers they are. Oh I've been wrong. More tims than I can count and will be wrong at least one more time before I pass into the unknown and really find out what the fuck is on the other side.

Complacency and Pride are the biggest hurdles we face, not the Fat Cats. They'll be alley cats without the the steady diet we slop into their ever-growing mouths.

The Fall of The American Empire(?)

2008-10-04T20:19:00.002-07:00

I heartell McCain is a food company.

I heartell Palin shoots moose so she can't understand Black folk, goshdarnit.

I heartell There'll be a bloodbath if the black president is Martin-Luther-Kinged.

I heartell the East will rise when Babylon falls.

I'm in Canada, but I'll be voting for someone who isn't running.

At least not in these parts.

In A Handbasket

2008-09-30T21:48:00.004-07:00

Blood red ribbons, puss oozing out the weavework, toxic corpses poking through radioactve holes. The fruit of stolen labour and chesire blowjobs gives off a funk to turn The Godfather the other cheek.

Taking a piss on your face I notice an orifice that shouldn't be there. Kinda lika belly button, but playing mainstage on your forehead. Musta melted the eye away with nownownow.

Oop too late. Now the dupe's in you and me. But I like the taste of those chips and this shiney shiney thing, I don't know the blown-off kid. nownownow I can't even sea across the pond, not even from my house.

A heartbeat less should bring the Empire into burn 'til the next

...

2007-10-29T19:07:00.001-07:00

Oh Shit!!

Free The Jena 6

2007-09-15T11:11:00.001-07:00

Wow. Louisiana's still in thew stone ages. I was struck a blow when I discovered that segregation still exists, resulting in 6 black kids being charged with one getting 22 years in jail for a fight. Fisticuffs, no knives or guns, just a beat down and a well-deserved one at that.

Check this out:

http://www.colorofchange.org/jena/?id=2005-193441

Last fall in Jena, the day after two Black high school students sat
beneath the "white tree" on their campus, nooses were hung from the
tree. When the superintendent dismissed the nooses as a "prank," more
Black students sat under the tree in protest. The District Attorney
then came to the school accompanied by the town's police and demanded
that the students end their protest, telling them, "I can be your best
friend or your worst enemy... I can take away your lives with a stroke
of my pen."

A series of white-on-black incidents of violence followed, and the DA
did nothing. But when a white student was beaten up in a schoolyard
fight, the DA responded by charging six black students with attempted
murder and conspiracy to commit murder.

It's a story that reads like one from the Jim Crow era, when judges,
lawyers and all-white juries used the justice system to keep blacks in
"their place." But it's happening today. The families of these young
men are fighting back, but the story has gotten minimal press.
Together, we can make sure their story is told and that the Governor
of Louisiana intervenes and provides justice for the Jena 6. It starts
now. Please join me:

http://www.colorofchange.org/jena/?id=2005-193441

The noose-hanging incident and the DA's visit to the school set the
stage for everything that followed. Racial tension escalated over the
next couple of months, and on November 30, the main academic building of
Jena High School was burned down in an unsolved fire. Later the same
weekend, a black student was beaten up by white students at a party.
The next day, black students at a convenience store were threatened by a
young white man with a shotgun. They wrestled the gun from him and ran
away. While no charges were filed against the white man, the students
were later arrested for the theft of the gun.

That Monday at school, a white student, who had been a vocal supporter
of the students who hung the nooses, taunted the black student who was
beaten up at the off-campus party and allegedly called several black
students "nigger." After lunch, he was knocked down, punched and
kicked by black students. He was taken to the hospital, but was
released and was well enough to go to a social event that evening.

Six Black Jena High students, Robert Bailey (17), Theo Shaw (17),
Carwin Jones (18), Bryant Purvis (17), Mychal Bell (16) and an
unidentified minor, were expelled from school, arrested and charged
with second-degree attempted murder. The first trial ended last
month, and Mychal Bell, who has been in prison since December, was
convicted of aggravated battery and conspiracy to commit aggravated
battery (both felonies) by an all-white jury in a trial where his
public defender called no witnesses. During his trial, Mychal's
parents were ordered not to speak to the media and the court
prohibited protests from taking place near the courtroom or where the
judge could see them.

Mychal is scheduled to be sentenced on July 31st, and could go to jail
for 22 years. Theo Shaw's trial is next. He will finally make bail
this week.

The Jena Six are lucky to have parents and loved ones who are fighting
tooth and nail to free them. They have been threatened but they are
standing strong. We know that if the families have to go it alone,
their sons will be a long time coming home. But if we act now, we can
make a difference.

Join me in demanding that Louisiana Governor Kathleen Blanco get
involved to make sure that justice is served for Mychal Bell, and that
DA Reed Walters drop the charges against the 5 boys who have not yet
gone to trial.

http://www.colorofchange.org/jena/?id=2005-193441

Let's Show the World that America Has No Shame!

2007-09-11T20:47:00.001-07:00

http://youtube.com/watch?v=sEL0OW57bWg&mode=related&search=

Bike Thieves Should Be Hung

2007-09-02T17:04:00.000-07:00

They should be treated just like horse thieves. I'm just sayin'...

Social Regression with a Smile!

2007-08-30T02:55:00.000-07:00

"Holla atchya boy!"

Um...haven't we spent the last, oh I don't know, 400 years or so trying to get away from someone hollering at us calling us 'boy'? Have we progressed so much that we're right back wearing chains?

Sho 'nuff.

Except this time our chains are slave-made and help fuel wars. At least they bling.

Sometimes Will Smith Feels Like A Motherless Child

2007-08-19T21:56:00.000-07:00

Oh my god.

I just realized something that has plagued my dreams and horrified me in my waking hours:

Will Smith's mommy doesn't love him!

If you recall the Fresh Prince of Bel-Air, his mother's words were 'You're moving with your uncle and auntie in Bel-Air!' And for the entire run of the series, that is all you heard of her!

Nope. Wait

That 's not quite true.

Still, even when Aunt Vivian had her sisters over with the sistren call of 'Diiivas!" whenever they'd congregate for late night cake it the kitchen and banter, we never really did see Will & Mommy bond-or even have a scene together, no?

I can't recall.

Will someone please give me closure! Angelica?

You’re a Shade or Two Darker Than Paper-bag Brown

2007-08-17T19:42:00.000-07:00

But you cheer the white man beating the native or brother down.

'It's okay cuz he's the good guy!' the film's programmed into your protests

They got your vote in this million-dollar ho fest

But you know something's wrong, you can feel it in your chest

What a mess

Tight, burning pumping and it won't go away

Until he saves the day and walks away with the girl and gets paid

By you and you and me uh yeah didn't you know?

On to the next blockbuster son, buy your over-priced popcorn, chocolate, candy and let's go!

Tchaikovsky was a Fag

2007-08-12T09:15:00.000-07:00

but don't tell anybody. Too bad the great Russian composer wasn't alive during the Classical period when Mozart was kickin' it. Back then, about 100 years before Tchaikovsky was born-we're talking early-1700s men wore powdered wigs, flossed lace and gloves, sported hankies twirled their wrists, bowed an awful lot, wore tights and make up and acted flamboyant.

In other words nigguhs was gay.

But Lawd forbid that you actually WERE gay, then they'd burn you at the stake. At least Tchaikovsky would have had an outlet.

Blingnoosers

2007-08-06T07:45:00.001-07:00

High are the stakes
Y'all block stalkin'
Bling' rockin
Struggle-mockin' fakes
Chicken and watermelonin' your soul for papes
For future's sake
Yo' monkey-ass behaving' s the new blackface

Price: A community centre-worth of gold to the grill
Spiced
With 1000s of hours of slavemine ice
Sacrificed
To the hole you can't fill

Y'all blingnoosers makin' hip hop the new vaudeville

Fuck Episodes I, II & III

Y'all
Are the true clone army
And it's plain to see
Flossin caps but ain't none y'all play baseball

Go figure
Check out
Just about
Any movie
They'll bleep out motherfucker and shit but not nigger

Crazy's the New Hawt

2007-08-04T14:21:00.000-07:00

Times are changin', so much so that looking crazy's in fashion.

You can't tell the crazy people from the not crazy people anymore.

If you'll remember your ancient history, like y'know, back before American Apparel, when bed head, over-sized sweatshirts, leotards and cowboy boots were the exclusive province of crackheads?

Couple that with the advent of cellphone earpieces(CE) and you can no longer tell the difference.

Back in pre-AA and CE you could easily identify a crackhead; Dressed in ridiculous 80s leftovers, they had that perennial just-woke-up look and talked, even argued to themselves.

Post AA/CP? Your average white girl's got messy hair an over-sized sweater, leotards cowboy boots, and talk to themselves.

If crazy's the new 'hawt' schizophrenia can't be too far behind.

Lucky Penny: 1986

2007-08-02T05:35:00.001-07:00

1986?

Elementary dear Watson Elementary

Grade 6.

Woodland in Verdumb, Montreal. Mr. Bolsius with his 'Jesus Christ' sandals and spit foaming at the sides of his mouth. Him taping a line across the floor in front of my desk. 'Don't cross it' because I was so hyper. Of course as soon as he laid that tape down my duty was to inch the two front legs past it.

Thanks but no thanx

2007-07-30T05:19:00.001-07:00

English ain't shit.

Supposedly it always never was, but now it be even worse.
Nigguhs be uptalkin n' shit, showin' dey lack of confidence in what they say,weak nigguhs..
Y'know like:

'Oh my gawd? Did you see that? She's such a ditz? All she does is shop? and like, complain? like,don'tyou justwanna die?'

Y'all hear how muhfuckahz TALK deez dayz? Damn.

Breakin language down n' shit, takin' sho'tcutz an' wutnot.

Like de werd 'Thanks.'

Fuck datshit.

Don't be sayin thanx to a nigguh.

It sounds like a nigguh can't be bothered with another syllable, fo' a nigguh, another word to convey yo true feelings,

fuckin' inscincere yaknowuddImsayin?

Let's go back
Way back
back into time
when nigguhs would say 'Thank you'.

Now damn, don't dat sound like a nigiuh appreciates a nigguh?

Let's try it out:

Nigguh 1: Yo yo son, pass the midget.

Nigguh 2: ...Hol' up..damn, heavy muhfuckuh...

Nigguh 1: Thanks.

BULLSHIT!

Now let's try that again:

Gentleman One: Excuse me but would you be so kind as to pass me that tasty little midget?

Gentleman Two: Of course, just...sorry, she weighs much more than I thought! There you go.

Gentleman One:Thank you.

Sigh.

Now ain't dat bedda?!

Sheeyit...

Deadwood 1, Abdul P (p for puking)

2007-07-29T12:05:00.000-07:00

Lucky 13 (AKA) Mark organized a drinking game. He even wrote up some pretty involved rules involving a deck of cards, paper and pen, Dixie cups (that leaked) and a bucket behind the TV.

The ruse? "The Deadwood Drunking game That ain't For Pussies".

The players?
Mark "Lucky 13" Dubeau, Dominic "Domingo" Lavoie, Michael "Distill my beating heart" Longstaff, J-F The Vodka Da Sylva, James "Bandito" Allport and myself, Pukesworth The First (and last).

Deadwood is a harsh, slow-moving Shakespearean Western on HBO that ain't shy o' slingin' curses like irons.

You can't get out of a two-way convo without ' fuck' popping at least five times, Hence Mr. Michael Longstaff knocking 10 shots off in under 10 minutes.

Oh yes, you draw two cards.

One determines the amount in your shot glass 1/4, 1/2, 2/3 to full, the other the swearword(s) you're assigned. I happened to get the curses referring to all things feminine such 'whore', 'cunt', 'bitch', 'slut' and somehow 'piss'. Being a good sport I even took on 'ass'.

The alcohol was a fine array of rhums whiskeys and whatnot. Appleton Estate Jamaican Rhum Canadian Club whiskey; all six of us brought something tasty. I foolishly brought Bombay Sapphire.

Gin.

Now I admit I had something to prove. I'm not a drinker, but in my limited experience mixed all sorts of drinks and did fine....just not in a drinkering game to a television show full of characters that swore more than a fleet of horny drunken sailors shipwrecked on a remote island of muscular gay pigmies.

Things were fun and jovial for the first 30 minutes. We enjoyed the show, the company and re-drawing every 10 shots taken. after my 10th I was feeling no pain, but alas drew 'fuck' which frequented yellow-toothed mouths more than the word 'the'.

Next thing I know I'm the little girl in 'Exorcist', held up by two buddies as I decided to repaint Mark's white walls in a chunky shade of peach.

After flashes of shouts to puke and drink water from my comrades and the worst sensation of sickness I have yet to regret, I wake up shirtless, in the tub, in puke-encrusted pants with one helluva hangover.

Next day comment from Dominic: "I work on airplanes and I've never seen so much puke in my life."

I've heard countless tales of lost memory when alcohol runs its course but never belived in it until now.

Then Mark starts telling me stuff. Stuff that I don't remember.

Memories flash to the forefront like the stench of a stank washcloth unleashed by a drop of water.

You stuck your finger down my throat to induce vomiting?

You made me drink 9 glasses of water? I only remember 1!

You made me drink mustard & water to make me puke?

I puked on your leather couch?!?

Thank god it was leather and not suede.

Great, patient buddies.

Next day my uncle's like 'Take a shot of Brandy, it'll clear you up.'

I reluctantly agreed and 10 minutes later found myself better for it.

The experience?

Embarrassing to say the least, especially because I ignored the warning care of Michael "Don't mix your grains with your grapes" wanting to prove I could hang with the big boys.

So boys,

When's the next game?

It's been a long time

2007-07-21T18:39:00.000-07:00

GawtDAMN it's been awhile.

And don't kid yourself, this ain't gon' be funny.

I just realized (again) how much thangs have gone down the shit sink.

Notice how everything's being dumbed down?

Who remembers those zippers that had a special tooth in the back of the slider? If for some reason (ahem) your button popped the fuck off you could always count on that special lick of metal to lock into the zipper. This stopped the slider from slipping down the rest of the clasped teeth, saving you from hours holding your pants up, and claims that it's your new 'thing'.

No more!

I don't see 'em on pants any more.

Notice how much music sucks today?

Yes yes, you had Madonna back in the day, but yo, show me a radio station that'll play Shitney Smears 20 years from now.

Everyone can make music now. The tools are within your grasp if you have a lap top and a few decent programs.

Cool.

Gems pop out of the blue collar demographic, people have more freedom to be creative. But the bar has been lowered when people who can't sing or play an instrument can make millions of dollars while a jazz musician who's dedicated his or her life to the craft has to eat Kraft.

Go to Jello Bar. (that's in Montreal people)

There's a band workin' HARD to make you dance, live and in your face. Next room's a DJ with most of the crowd at his disposal.

Love DJs but dayum...

Technology's made us less human. Back in the day you had to face someone. Now you can email, text message, phone, fax a break up , an argument, a serious discussion.

Of course there are advantages but it weakens our resolve, puts machines between us. We don't have operators anymore we have pre-recorded voices telling us to press buttons.

We're not robots.

Yet.

To quote Michael Franti, stay human.

Michael Richards's Racist Quantum Singularity

2006-11-21T21:10:00.000-08:00

A quantum singularity was created the other day. An event that affects the present, past and future. Michael Richards, best known for his hilarious character 'Kramer' in the sitcom 'Sienfeld', lost his cool and exposed the racist within at a comedy show.

Hecklers had been calling him out apparently.

We don't know what the 'hecklers' said, but suffice it to say that Richards snapped in the most unprofessional way, no matter what kind of 'apology' he made.

But What I find more disturbing than the quantum singularity are the comments made by people on the Youtube pages.

I'm blown away not so much by the racist morons who justify what he said-aftrall, when you take the stage as a comedian, dealing with hecklers is part of the game-but by the ignorance about racism and its history. You'll find people claiming 'double standard' since the black folk heckling Richards called him a 'cracker'. The history of 'nigger' and 'cracker' runs deep and one should understand that

a. One harbours much more pain and hatred than the other and
b. 'Cracker' came later and only as a response to 'nigger' and is hardly as damaging.

In fact, I can think of no derogatory word for a Caucasian that harbours as much hate as 'nigger'

Honkey?
Cracker?
Whitebread?

Ninja, please

I encourage you to read the comments and judge for yourself. Michael Richards has done more than screw what career he had left by his racist rant and pathetic 'apology' (that brings Katrina in for brownie points) he has exposed the ignorance among the masses about the history of racism; where it's been what it's like now and where it is going.

Blaming Hollywood & Videogames is Not Enough

2006-09-16T23:55:00.000-07:00

My heart goes out to all the families who suffered the tragedy of the Dawson College shootings. All the families and all the children. When we suffer we tend to think with our hearts, but we must be careful. We must also think with our minds.

We need to dig deeper. To simply blame Hollywood , TV and video game violence is not enough. We must realize that these modes of expression are only a reflection of a bigger and more complicated puzzle.

If Kimveer Gill hadn’t listened to metal, played video games and watched violent movies he would have found another outlet. He didn’t stop at DVDs and CDs. He bought weapons. Hollywood doesn’t make weapons. Marilyn Manson doesn’t kill people, just pisses them off.

War, greed and fear. They are the root of the problem. Mankind’s lust for power, his fear and eventual hatred of the unknown, be it another culture or religious belief. These are the underlying problems. As society and technology advance, we are exposed to new avenues of experience; music, theatre, movies, computers, internet, virtual reality, space travel and so on. These paths can and will be traveled by our darkest impulses, producing unimaginable behavior. People who were teenagers in the 50s and 60s would think it was the work of a deranged mind if they were told that people will commit shootings in schools in the future. Who knows what atrocities await our children and their children? It is the root of the problem we need to face, not the branches, and we need to find solutions now or things will get worse.

The Dawson College Shootings

2006-09-14T19:36:00.000-07:00

The Dawson College Shootings

I’ve always had faith in the number 13. I rail against the popular belief that it’s bad luck. I have a black cat, I love a full moon. I long to hang out in a graveyard on a Friday the 13th during a full moon and jam with folk as crazy as I am. But now my faith is shaken.

At approximately 1:30pm on Wednesday September 13th 2006, I was on the corner of Sherbrooke & Guy in Montreal Quebec waiting to catch the 24 bus when a police car blocked off westbound access. I tried to ask him what was going on but he wasn’t havin’ it. Snubbed by the cop. I decided to see for myself as I noticed a helicopter hovering over-from my perspective-Marianopolis College.

Seeing a couple unmarked cars with sirens whiz by, I though there had been a hostage situation. I also noticed droves of students on cell phones. Half way to Dawson I asked a couple kids what had happened and heard the worst: there had been a shooting. My first instinct was to hope it wasn’t a couple of rowdy black kids fighting over girls and bling. Sad to say, but it’s happened before.

When I got to Sherbrooke & Atwater, it was cordoned off. Students milled about in various levels of stress on cell phones. Lambert Closse & Maisonneuve and St-Catherine & Atwater became hubs of concern full of students and parents and staff. The police were holding it down. Being a former student at Dawson, this was particularly painful to see this happen. People had been shot in the atrium, where some of my best memories of school with Dominoes and card games and jokes had taken place.

I was concerned for two people in particular, my aunt and the father of my best friend. They are staff at Dawson college. I made a sign with the names of them both on a large piece of card stock and walked around, rather surprised that no one else thought of it. I got a lot more attention than I bargained for, but it helped because people came up to me to let me know that my aunt was okay. But I didn’t hear anything about my friend’s father. My friend showed up at the scene and we eventually discovered that his father had driven home and had no access to a phone. Today I found out that by some grace of god, karma or whatever energy force you care to believe in, he left the building at almost the same time things started to happen.

To re-park his car.

Minutes before he left, he was talking to the girl who got shot in the leg. Holy shit.

My aunt on the other hand was inside while it happened and bravo for her as she ushered students into her office and locked the door. I commend the staff and students of Dawson College for their sense of community and bravery, the fantastic work of the Montreal Police Department and the students of Concordia for setting up a place where parents, students and staff could meet with food and information waiting for them.
My heart goes out to the wounded,. The parents and the parents of the young girl who was killed. My heart also goes out to the parents of the maniac responsible for this horror. Could they have known? Were the warning signs evident? Who’s to know for sure, but the shock of knowing that your offspring is responsible for so much death and pain is something no parent should know. Still, this is their burden and like all parents they should have taken the best care of their child they could have given. It is unjust that lack of responsibility, respect and love at home should result in the suffering of thousands. Again.

City of Shootings.

Unfortunately, this isn’t the first time something like this has happened in our great city. Marc Lepine killed 14 women at Ecole Polytechnique in 1989, literally blocks from my house. His hatred for women fueled his actions and the inaction of the police-trained to section off the area and wait for SWAT while he continued to kill-has resulted in their lightning-quick response to yesterday’s events.

In 1992, three years after the atrocity at Ecole Polytechnique,
Mechanical Engineering Professor Valery Fabrikant opened fire on his colleagues killing three of them. Now Dawson College, the largest English college in the province of Quebec, the home of great memories, excellent staff and happy students from around the world.

Although this may be considered as an isolated incident, the problem of school shootings is not. Lest we forget the shootings at Columbine High School in Littleton, Colorado in 1999 and the shootings a week later at W.R. Myers High School in Taber, Alberta, and several more around the world.

The Columbine and Taber shootings were the result of isolation and teasing by peers. It is not quite known what the motivations were for the shooter at Dawson, but the disturbing incidents point to a horrible cancer within our competitive society. The unfair treatment of those who are considered losers, outsiders, nerds and freaks. Some of us have found avenues to channel this pain, many don not and a few lash out, with fatal results. Back in the day, shootings just didn’t happen. Twenty and thirtsy=somethings, ask your parents.

But as we are exposed to more and more violence-and more importantly the flippant attitude towards it and its repercussions through media-it only stands to reason that there will be those who are numbed to it. Worse yet that they would use violence as their only means of communication.

These are dangerous times. Video games, movies and television are tightening the noose on entertainment and violence. Soldiers listen to rock and roll as they invade neighbourhoods overseas. Cool weapons and endless lives to killer soundtracks can be found in videogames at your local Futureshop. A healthy mind can deal with these games and movies, but what about those who fall into the cracks?

Government has also taken advantage of this phenomenon in their recruiting campaigns for the army. just look at their ads. But as a creator of grimy stories I also feel responsible. Who will think I’m glorifying death and violence? What effect will the dark themes I explore through text and visual art have on those who are isolated and feel they have no other way to communicate?

These topics have to be face with frank discussion. Let us hope that recent events can help us come together and find solutions.

PS: Hema Quebec is looking for people with O- blood, if you got that juice check ‘em out @ www.hema-quebec.qc.ca

Bon Cop Bad Cop: Canada’s First Cop Buddy Flick!!!

2006-08-25T13:30:00.000-07:00

Ever since I heard about Bon Cop Bad Cop starring Patrick Huard and Colm Feore, my hopes were high. The poster alone got me going. Our first cop buddy flick! I’m happy to saY I was not disappointed. First of all, great picks. These guys have great chemistry and couldn’t be further from each other on the spectrum. Colm Feore is a character actor with a huge range (from Pierre Elliot Trudeau to Lord Marshal, the bad guy in The Chronicles Of Riddick) and Patrick Huard (buffed up to Vin Deisel proportions)is a French comedic actor on TV & movies probably best known for his work in Les Boys I, II & III.

Martin Ward (Feore) is a Toronto Cop who wants a cushy desk job and David Bouchard (Huard) is on the edge of getting his ass fired. Cooperation with ‘the other side’ is their only salvation when Quebec and Canada need to solve a crime that literally involves both sides. The language conflicts, the witty banter and the inside jokes are great. This however, may cause a problem with anyone outside of Canada; are we laughing cuz it’s funny or because it’s familiar? I’d have to say it’s a healthy dose of the two.

Although Bon Cop Bad Cop is a bit hokey, with its plot surrounding a serial killer obsessed with hockey (how Canadian/Quebecois!) it’s still funny as Hell. The comedy is mile-a-minute, the cast is rock solid-French comedian Louis-José Houde as Jeff the coroner is gold and Rick Mercer’s Don Cherryesque character is a guy you love to hate. The action is very Lethal Weaponish as there are enough fight scenes, explosions and post-explosion comedy/mystery to keep you going. A little formulaic, but hey, it’s their first time. My only other complaints are the use of too many subtitles and the badguy revealed at the end. Bad actor, horrible accent.

Overall, Bon Cop Bad Cop is a great laugh, but could definitely use some work. Fortunately there’s talk of a sequel. Hopefully the few kinks can be ironed out with a story that still busts on the English/French divide while appealing to a broader audience.

Bleach is the new Zen

2006-08-18T16:16:00.000-07:00

Damn. I totally forgot about BLEACH!

Toilet smellin funky, washing machine needs a good cleaning, tub nasty, cat pissing on my bed, you know, the yuj.

Yeah, so I have a lock on my bedroom door cuz my porno collection's vintage, problem is I left Onyx in there...for the whole day. I left the little nigguh in there before, my bad, but he be chillin, if it's only for an hour or two.

One day I didn't do the obligatory 'OUT!'sound check-to which he'll usually bolt from his designated chillspot-before I lock the do'.

I came home late that night to unlock and immediately sunk into denial mode. Naw, I don't smell shit, or piss. Hmmm can't seem to find it. Then I climb my loft bed. No. He couldn't have done his business on the floor, under my dresser, he had to leave a smokin pile right near the pillow and pour pee into the mattress.

Frebreeze? Ninja, please.

Bleach saved the day-Ooh, so my mattress is stained. yeah, but the PEE smell is gone. Happy day. Bad back tho, had to sleep on the couch for a couple nites

But after washin a few thangs down I realized, bleach is the new Zen. It's spiritually calming to eradicate funk of all strains. Bleach is the new Zen. Nothing can resist its awesome cleaning power. Even the cat's clean! Strangely enough, he doesn't move any more...

Hangin with Mike Patton Amon Tobin & Terrecon!!

2006-08-16T07:49:00.000-07:00

Last week August 10th, Mike Patton touched down in the Mtl with his project Peeping Tom. (http://www.myspace.com/peepingtomispatton)

For y’all out of the loop, Mike Patton is the legendary and insanely versatile voice that has cemented itself in music history with Faith No More, Mr. Bungle, Fantomas (with Buzz, the guitarist from the Melvins and Slayer’s Dave Lombardo on Drums) Tomahawk and has worked with Björk and beatboxing king Rahzel.

Speaking of Rahzel, he was one of the culprits in Mike Patton’s band. Peeping Tom is a mix of the old and new, silly lyrics, screaming, r n b singing (with a HAWT back up vocalist by the name of ) metal guitars, spiderman on keys, a DJ drums and a gong.

Coulda used more gong.

I checked out the show with Amon Tobin (responsible for the soundtrack to Tom Clancy’s Splinter Cell Chaos Theory (Ninjatune) and several unclassifiable albums of production genius) He also worked on a couple tracks for the Peeping Tom album. A barely-conscious Terrecon also accompanied us-watch out for this cat, he’s the next big thing comin’ outta Montreal!!!! Barely-conscious because he’d been up for 3 days straight, giggin’, producin’ and partyin’.

We left from Amon’s pad and took the metro-an alien concept to Amon as he usually walks or grabs a cab and Terrecon as he drives. I played gracious host and chaperone to the two, explaining the wonders of our transportation system.

After purchasing earplugs, we checked out the show which drew a solid crowd of Faith fans, Patton fans and several other strains of weirdo including Kid Kola Moondata’s Rhyna, Bluebird and Ninjatune North America honcho Jeff Waye and his wife. Mostway into the show, Terrecon could no longer stay erect so he walked back to his car. So disorientated was he that he walked all the way to Papineau from Beaudry-the opposite direction from where we came, effectively making his cracked-out journey twice as long.

Amon and I hung back to chat with Patton who was still pink from post-show blood rush. The two chatted about how they needed to work on something together from scratch as they’re both insanely busy-Patton constantly on tour, this show an off-day from their romp with ridiculously popular Gnarls Barkley, and Amon working on a new record and constantly globe trotting. All I could do is stand there in awe as two of some of my favourite musicians were shootin’ the shit.

You don’t understand.

Faith No More was a minor religion to me and the first time I heard Amon I flipped-and continue to cuz the new shit? Shit...

Anyways, I talked to Mike for a spell, catching up. Every time he’d drop in the city we’d chat, ever since I beatboxed in his ear after a Mr. Bungle show, he’d been wanting to hear more. But he’ll only get the best...I’m workin’ on it!!!

The night ended with Pizza care of Amon and him headin to his girly’s. I headed home inspired by two of the sickest kids in the game. Soon it will be my turn, mwahahahaha!!!

It's a House of Cosbys...

2006-08-15T14:34:00.000-07:00

The House of Cosbys

Has anyone seen this?

Spoiler below

The concept is that a white fan (Mitchell) finds a Cosby hair and creates a cloning machine. He clones a Bill Cosby to tell him jokes but gets carried away and clones more. As it turns out each Cosby specializes in something and has very limited speech referring to everyone as Theo, Rudy or in rare instances Kodak and Dwayne Wayne.

The look of each Cosby focuses on a distinguishing feature of Bill Cosby, making each look a little different from the last. There’s Curiosity Cosby (with a huge nose and chameleonesque bug eyes) dancing Cosby, Bathtub Cosby; you get the picture. There’s even a Cosbyette whom Cosby fan, Mitchell, fucks. (shudder)

Every tenth Cosby is a Super Cosby with special skills or powers. The first is Data Analysis Cosby whose look is based on Leonard Part 6. It’s clear a white person is doing his voice (the credits prove it, it’s the guy who does Mitchell voice) and sounds nothing like the passable-and admittedly funny Cosby voices-I’ll get to that later. Other Super Cosbys include, Ammunition Cosby, Carpenter Cosby, BCD2 (take a guess) and Preacher Cosby…then there’s the superhero group Cosby Team Triosby.

I’m not gonna front. The shit is hilarious. I can’t stop watching it. Out of context it’s a riot, but in the context of the history of social status, it’s another story, a story where I can see why Bill Cosby himself shut it down. His lawyers have lobbed cease and desist orders to Channel 101, the website responsible for broadcasting the four 5 minute shorts. Needless to say it’s a little harder to find the four-episode only series on the net.

These Cosbys are cloned to do things around the house, tell jokes, clean, cook. It’s sounding a bit like personal slaves. Throw in the fact that many of the Cosbys are voiced by white folk and the added dimension of Minstrel Shows comes into play.

Back in the day, a black person who wanted to perform theatre had to wear blackface. That’s right folks: Blackface, It Ain’t Just For White folk.

White folk who did blackface got a kick out of it and even found solace and calm in the release and freedom of playing a simple Black caricature. Role playing has that effect, especially when those impersonated didn’t bear the burden of running things, seemingly leading a simple-minded, irresponsible and carefree life-much how Black folk were portrayed in any movie old enough to be black and white. Then again...

I seriously doubt there was anyone black doing Cosby, but when it comes down to it, everyone likes to do Cosby. So in this case I’ll let this one slide- I’ve always hated cartoons with black characters voiced by white guys. What can be seen as racist however, is the fact that the most intelligent of Cosbys (Data Analysis Cosby) doesn’t sound like Cosby at all. Hmmmm...

I can hear the moans now.. ‘You’re taking this shit waaay too seriously’. I’d rather look at it as getting your mind to think down paths it may have not otherwise.

The folks at Channel 101 including creator Justin Roiland point out that South Park and The Simpsons lampooned the Coz with no legal retaliation. Once again, a far cry from what The House Of Cosbys is doing. It is the subtle and subconscious elements of slavery and the minstrel qualities of the show that have most likely caused the Coz’s ire-besides the riffing of him as a caricature But hey, I could be totally wrong and the Coz just can’t take a joke…

Fuck War Let's Fuck!!

2006-08-10T23:55:00.000-07:00

I'm not one for petitions, but this one's legit.

If you're for an end to the pointless loss of lives and culture between Israel & Lebanon, sign on to the ceasefire petition. The UN is paying attention and might actually have enouigh pull to something about it, but they need to know people are pissed!!!!!!

Cheerz

http://www.ceasefirecampaign.org/mo/en.html

Don't let the anchor of shouldawouldacoulda

2006-08-06T07:52:00.000-07:00

stop you from setting sail on a new adventure...

I never understood why

2006-08-04T08:30:00.000-07:00

People say 'Wahoo!!' instead of 'Yahoo!!'

System of A down for my nephew

2006-08-03T05:54:00.000-07:00

So yesterday was a fun, wet, muddy experience as I took my 12-year-old nephew to his first concert.

He loves System Of A Down, and for all y'all who don't know, he couldn't have picked a more musically complex, politically conscious and just plain fun sing-along band to fall in love with. System Of A Down are four Armenian-American psychos who started out artsy and nuts, and by their third album, dumbed their music down a bit, but have gotten hundreds of thousands of teens to sing along to anti-war and anti-Bush administration-themed songs.

This show was @Parc Jean Drapeau, Montreal and I feared the worst as it rained off and on all day. But lo and behold the heavens held their tears for the first -and in my opinion boring, monotonous bands: Bad Acid Trip, Unearth, Hatebreed and Avenged Sevenfold. Actually, Unearth was the only entertaining one out of the bunch.

I must admit 50% of my joy from metal shows are the stares and hushed whispers. Not only am I a big thick black man, I'm a big thick black man with ninjaboots on, a headwrap, billowing shalwar( Pakistani pants) and huge metal rings on with a Mars Volta wristband and a Metallica Master Of Puppets T shirt.

The fact that I was dragging my nephew around in the mud just added to the spectacle.
I got a lot of 'Is that your kid?' smiles and thumbs up as I piggy backed him for most of the System set. And he ain't a scrawny little tyke. It wasn't as bad as i thought it would be as I carried most of his weight with my butt. Even in the mosh it, where there was nothing but love-people watching out and making sure we weren't getting crushed. Headbanging and singing along with hundreds of sweaty, muddy french kids-oh yeah, it started pouring during their set- was just awesome.

After that I took my boy home and played him all types of stuff. He needs to know about Deftones, Meshuggah, Living Colour, Tool, Fishbone, y'know, the good stuff.

S'important to pass the essentials on to the next generation...

Do Unto Others....

2006-08-02T08:26:00.000-07:00

I feel so ashamed. And I should know better.

It just seems to play out that way. Like for example when one group of people massacres your people you'd think your people would know better and become benevolent and remindful instead of just remindful tyrants who end up destroying an entire country to get at one terrorist group...

In my case I wanna kick ass when some stupid white guy gets me confused with some other brother that looks nothing like me. Then he'll come up with the lame excuse that he's drunk. Ninja please.

Unfortunately that typa shit's contagious as I mistook Harold & Kumar go to White Castle's Kal Penn in Superman-the only 'minority' character in the movie, who just happened not to have any lines. Not even ONE word!- for M. Night Shamaylan (director of Unbreakable and Signs) Both South Asian. But they look nothing like each other!

For shame!!

Then I did it again, only this time in real life. I mistook another South Asian-who's a comedian for a friend of a friend's-who's a film maker- and neither look like each other!

Boy do I feel like a stupid drunk white guy...

Hi, I'm Bryan Warner and I have a Brain Tumor Cuz I Repost Stupid Shit on Myspace

2006-07-27T06:53:00.000-07:00

C'MOOOOON!

Are you serious?

No organization is gonna track reposts or emails to donate money to some ficticious kid who's got ficticious cancer or a ficticious brain tumor.

Does this make ANY fuckin sense?

How in the FUCK is Make A Wish Foundation suppose to track this and seriously, so you think they

A) Know about this

B) would even care?

How does this help them? Reposting this will do nothing but spread yet another stupid internet thing

C) Bryan Warner is Marilyn Manson's real name ;p

Tigger!

2006-07-24T05:57:00.000-07:00

What the Hell?

Tigger!

What were the people @Disney thinking when they came up with that one?

He bounces around and smiles an awful lot. Talks a whole bunch of gibberish.

Coulda been worse.

They coulda named him Teegro.

Work from home! Make millions! And best of all, it's easy!

2006-07-22T08:45:00.000-07:00

Seriously though, does anyone really know anybody who works from home doing paid surveys, data entry, assembling products or stuffing envelopes? Can you really make decent coin off that stuff? Wouldn't there be someone in your circle of friends who couldn't stop talking about it; rockin the bling and pushing a Lexus? Inquiring minds wanna know what the fudapuk is up.

By the way, shut up

2006-07-20T05:59:00.000-07:00

When you rise in the morning you still have a roof?
A fridge full of food?
A computer to read this on?

Shut up.

Got traffic to complain about?
Rent to pay? Line ups at the supermarket?

Shut up.

Late for work?
Legs to walk on?
A street with no tank on it?

Shut up.

Are people running for their lives?
Is there an army waging war on your city?
Are you being bombed?
No?

Then shut up.

Just once...

2006-07-19T12:57:00.000-07:00

I'd like to see Indiana Jones miss with his whip

Sony Ad Racist?

2006-07-14T21:02:00.000-07:00

Check out the seriers of ads here:

http://www.joystiq.com/2006/07/04/ad-critic-sonys-racially-charged-psp-ad#comments

People who don't realize what this is are truly living examples of how stupid society has become.

There are several elements to this ad to be addressed.

The concept of the ad is cool, but because of the HISTORY involved with whites
dominating blacks, it makes the ad seem racist. And that's the whole point.
It's obviously doing its job: creating a buzz, getting people to talk. Nothing
but a racey ad will get people to actually take time to compose thoughtful blogs about this, spark debate and communication, (something the ad agency they hired
will claim was their point) this is the kinda ad that exposes the all idiots who haven't a
clue about what racism is, but THINK they do.

Sony can apologize for running the ad all they want, they couldn't care less.
You think this will hurt sales? The profits from this 'controversy' and attention this has caused will far outstretch the money they'll lose form people boycotting their products. What, you think they didn't do some number crunching? That their
marketing team was that stupid? Ninja, please.

The apology and pulling the ad is all a part of it. Then social groups and
activists will congratulate them on admitting that they did wrong not realizing
that it was all part of the plan.

Congratulations on a scam well done Sony.

It's the a$$holes who always get the last laugh.

PS: There are three parts to this ad as far as I know. One is on equal ground
(and if that would ghave been the ad there would be no-or little-'controversy')
the second is of the white model grabbing the black nmodel's aface, theird is
the black model over her as if she threw the white model (still clutching her face) to the ground) this is the first time I've seen the series of adverts together.
It's actually @#!!*&^%$ hilarious. Take the history away and look at it as the colurs-not the people-battling it out and it's just visually stunning.

Roof running ain't just for superheroes anymore

2006-07-13T16:15:00.000-07:00

Ever hear of Pakour, the art of urban gymnastics? If so, yes, it's old news, but it's something I've always thought about. Reading comix in my earlier years, there were always characters that ran the roofs, swung on poles, navigated the urban jungles like acrobats.

Walking down the streets of Montreal, I envision myself scrambling up a wall. Jackie Chan is a favourite. Creative physical problem-solving, physics and real-time application. Pushing the envelope. No helmets, kneepads or safety nets. Mastering the art of movement. Quickly. Dangerous yes, but jolly good fun.

And it was bound to happen. It's primal. The further we push ourselves into the future with technology and advancements, the more our raw instincts want to escape and run amok. Look at skateboarders. Carefully. Between stunts they're loose, relaxed, almost monkey. We need that fix; using the physical to conquer our environment. Master our surroundings to reach the peak of physical ability. We have a deep-seated urge to know that our bodies are exquisite machines of flesh and blood and bone and goosebump-covered skin. Sexy as fuck.

Parkour girls holla.

Fuck the gym, Ima hit the roofs...

Two heads are better than one...or not

2006-07-11T19:46:00.000-07:00

There is a delicate balance we need to achieve.
All men must face it: we are two-headed demons.

Two heads.

One thinks the other stinks.

Both have the power to control us. Both get us into trouble. Both have power over the other. There doesn't always seem to be enough blood for them to share. Both think they're the boss and that's when problems....ahem...arise.

Ah if only we were fitted with a gauge we could manually control.

Or at least set on semi-automatic.

It's set on auto by default and takes years of training to create a csystem of control. Some of us need books. Problem is, if that gauge is still under construction, having technical difficulties or just not programmed properly and there happens to be some fine bootay in the room, the loss of blood diverted to the other head can render the gauge practically useless.

Not enough blood for both heads to work together.

Then of course when the second head has the lionshare but there's juuuust enough left in the head proper to start going off on pointless tangents, it tends to require a bloodrive. The second head's at a loss and it's game oper boys and girls!

okay, just the girls.

So give generously at the next blood drive, for the next (sex) life you save may be your own.

Carabana in Montreal

2006-07-10T07:36:00.000-07:00

First off,

Sorry.

I didn't go. But My brother & I figured we could catch the continuing festivities @ Parc Jean Drapeau.

Not so.

Oh there were people there, problem was there wasn't a free outdoor party with barbecue and ting. It was a stage show you had to pay (10 bux!) tt get in to. 5 bux woulda had me and the other 300 or so kids hanging around the entrance, so my bro and I split, but not before getting an eyeful.. so many colours! So many thick firm legs

So much blaDANG!!!

Too much plaPOW!

You can almost hear teir tops straining. One burst of wind from my mouth at close range and any given top would have exploded and darted away like a baloon spewing air.

Oh and physicists take note: the laws of gravity do not apply to black women on Carabana. I suggest y'all bring a notepad and pen next year to rewrite your theories.

Now I'm not one to look up a lady's PlaPOW!!!! in short shorts when she's a few steps above me on the escalator but once a year I lose it. I made that delicious mistake and saw girlfriend's dental work.

Mmm mm MMM!

So next year I'm in the streets at Carabana, and my pants will be very loose...

Punk-ass parents

2006-07-06T07:49:00.000-07:00

"Yeah you. If you smoke in front of your kid you're a PUNK.

'Oh, but we're outside, so it's okay'.

Yes, truer words have never been spoken.

FUCK YOU.

There's no excuse. Greeeeeeat role model, Do-As-I-Say-and Not-What-I-do Messiah. Like your kid will respect you. That's like telling your kid not to hit his little sister, but you'll smack him if he gets out of line. Your child shouldn't even KNOW you smoke until they're grown up and out the fatherfuckin' house. MAYbe. The next generation's got the biggest job yet, try to smooth 'em in huh?"

Superman Returns....kinda

2006-07-05T11:05:00.001-07:00

Warning! There are spoliers below!!

After the dismal piece of cinematic shit they had the nerve to call X3, all my faith lay in Bryan Singer (who directed the first two impeccabley crafted X-Men movies) to deliver us with Superman Returns.

Superman Returns ignores 3 & 4 and takes place after Superman 2-itself kinda sketchy, but still fun.

Superman had been gone for 5 years because scientists have found remains of Krypton floating in space. Superman takes a trip to see if anyone survived. In the meantime the world's gotten along without Superman (except that Bush happened) and Lois Lane got engaged and had a kid.

I've been following the progress of this film since I first heard Singer would direct. Ironically, Bret Rattner, the schmuck responsible for destroying any integrity X-Men had, was supposed to direct Superman. Let it also be known that Rattner didn't think the Phoenix story (the biggest story in X-Men history) had enough meat to make a movie-which is why he threw the mutant cure idea in-whereas Singer said he would have made it a two-parter.
But I suppose the chance to direct the world's greatest superhero was too irresistible to pass up.

And he does a bang up job.

However, Superman Returns is not without its flaws, and it took the keen eye of Blog Monkey to point out a few of these glaring problems.

Let me start off by saying that Singer took great care to create this movie. It's quite clear that there was a lot of love for the material and respect for the first two Superman movies with Christopher Reeve and Margot Kidder-who by the way are still the king and queen of the Superman interpretations. I liked Lois & Clark’s
new approach and thought Dean Cain & Teri Hatcher were a respectable second. Haven't seen Smallville much, but what I have seen is bloody impressive.

The Good

Frank Langella was perfect as Perry White, wise, confident and even funny. He wasn't a charicature. He re-interpreted Perry White and it worked perfectly.

Sam Huntington as Jimmy Olsen was perfect. The way Olsen should be. He was the funniest thing in the movie and had great presence. He really balanced out the newsroom and was the only one sympathetic to poor Clark-who still gets treated like shit and was never missed-which is probably what Kal-El wanted.

Kevin Spacy was a great pick for Lex Luthor, but I think he could been more of a prick. His intro was probably the best intro to an antagonist I've ever seen. Ah Gertrude...Strangely enough-and I think Singer did this on purpose-when Lex was holding his 'wife' Gertrude's hand on her death bed, it seemed as though that was an old Lois Lane in bed holding a still-young & vibrant Kal-El's hand. I interpreted it as a flash into the future.

I loved how Superman's flight looked like it took a bit of concentration-notice his flight pattern when he lands...

The little touches like 'Look chief, it's a bird, it's a plane, no look it's...', the orginal Jimmy Olsen (Jack Larson) playing a bartender, Luthor bumping into Lois Lane while brushing his teeth. Great stuff.

The Bad

Not all that bad really; I loved the suit. I just thought the ‘S’ was a bit small and that the neck wasn't open enough. Other than that I thought it looked great

Yeah yeah yeah Kryptonite, enough already, something else please?

Uhm...no one noticed that Clark and Superman were gone for the exact same time? Kal-El should have used his superbrains and made it so that Clark shows up even a couple weeks later.

The Ugly

Kal Penn! Remember ‘Harold & Kumar Go to White Castle’? Penn as Kumar was hilarious and Singer didn't even give Penn a speaking role as one of Lex's henchmen! What a waste!! The comedic element-so sorely missing, and I'm not talking campy here-could have used a little more Penn .

Singer fucked up on casting Kate Bosworth as Lois Lane. Just from the commercials I could tell she was wrong for the part. Margot Kidder was bang on and although I'm not looking for clones, my preference after she dealt with Lois Lane is that she's plucky and has attitude. No disrespect to Kate Bosworth, but she was wrong for the part, much like Kirsten Dunst was wrong to play Mary Jane in Spider-man (what about Kate Winslet? Don't believe me, rent Eternal Sunshine of A Spotless Mind)

Bosworth had no depth, didn't interest me and was way too young. It's been five years since Superman was gone people! Even Brandon Routh as Superman was too young.

Singer should have went with a comedic actress, someone with great timing and presence. Why not Janine Garofalo or better yet, a relative unknown, but someone who could excude independence and wit.

There were a bunch of silly little things that went on too.

Superman's in the hospital for weeks-Uhm...where's Clark? If I were his boss I'd have fired his ass (thanx for the observation Blog Monkey)

Superman floats up to the strato to hear all sorts of shit going down on the planet then bolts down to stop a serious situation...That would be a bank robbery where the cops are out-gunned.

Ooh!

Horrible!

Forget about the genocides happening around the planet or gang wars, two men in blue-oh, I get it- are about to be shot down. They knew the risks when they joined the force!

I would have bought the scene if Supes where floating over just his home town, but to prioritize a bank robbery over everything else going on in the world is just bad writing.

Brandon Routh. Solid, but not enough presence. And no jokes-except for the flight thing, but Reeve delivered it better. Reeve had this magic about him, Superman was even a bit cocky, aloof. Remember that interview with Lois in the first one? Holy shit!

Again, I'm not asking for a clone, in fact I'd like something a little different, instead I got plain bread, no butter (and a glass of water for dippin'!)

All in all I enjoyed the movie and will see it several more times but Singer could have taken a few more chances. Lois's kid was a bold move indeed, but in all other areas I think Singer played it a bit too safe. Let's hope a few things can be tightned up on the sequel.

They're here...

2006-07-05T08:29:00.000-07:00

They say pain is just weakneess leaving the body.

They say confession is good for the soul.

They say never say never.

They say never wear the same underwear twcie.

Who the fuck is they?

Where do they come from?

Can we find they?

Can we kill 'em?

Ninja please....

2006-07-03T09:00:00.000-07:00

Anyone STUPID enough to believe any chainmail on the internet derserves to get duped. Use your brains people. Why in the fuck would Microsoft or any company for that matter give away money?

Why would Visa email you saying your credit card has been cloned and is being used in Bosnia without you getting a letter and a call? Why would any governmental organization take an internet petition-without valid phone numbers, addresses and last names seriously? Why would someone say their child is missing and not leave a phone number? Why would this diplomaty from Africa call you dear friend talkin' 'bout they need to transfer millions of dollars into your account?

Ninja please,

Don't waste people's time with stupid shit.

Do your research before you too become just another statistic of the digitally moronic

Fetish & Bondage

2006-06-28T06:45:00.000-07:00

Black people and white people have totally different views on bondage.

You put one group in blindfolds and chain them to a wall? It's an exciting playtime session! For the other it reminds them of a soul-scarring culture-destroying phenomenon.

You put a bunch of white folks in chains and blindfolds and chokers on a boat and whip 'em it's a kinky fetish weekend foray into the unknown pleasures of the soul!

You put bunch of black folk in chains and blindfolds and chokers? On a boat? And whip 'em? It takes them back to a soul-scarring culture-destroying phenomenon. A traumatic event in history that will be held over white people's heads for generations to come.

Y'all white people comfortable enough to laugh? I know why you're really laughing.

‘It's good being on the winning team.’

I Want Margaret Cho in my butt

2006-06-22T08:49:00.000-07:00

I want Margaret Cho to do me in the butt. And I’m not even
into that shit. My ass was made for exits only. But the day I meet her I'll be like ‘Oh god Pleez!!!’

I don't even know why. Maybe it’s cuz girls generally aren’t that funny.
Shut up.
Y’all know it’s true.
Girls tell me this shit, smart girls too.
And all y’all soft hearted guys that are like ‘That’s not true at all’
Shut the fuck up.
You just laffin at they stale jokes cuz you wanna get into their pants. Funny girls rare, like female guitar legends. But Margaret Cho turns me the fuck on. I think it’s because she’s clever. Clever girls get me harder than calculus.

And she’s raunchyyyy . … She so raunchy when you try to wash her mouth out with soap the soap’s like,
‘I’ve been in ases, but I ain’t goin in there.’
Raunchy!
She ain’t shy with that shit. And she's got a huge gay following. And y’all know what that means…
She's set for life.
Cher & Madonna too, cuz when you got gay fans, you belong to them. Even when you start to suck, cuz they be.:
‘Girlfriend’ll come around…I said girlfriend will come around.’

They love you like no other group of folk.
Ooh I can’t talk about it,
‘You can’t say that shit!’
Sometimes I wish I was everything under the sun, that way I could say anything.
Just not in Texas.
If I was a gay black vegan democrat recylepath in a wheelchair livin in Texas I’d be fuct!
But y’all see in the pride parade these buff gay motherfuckers, or should I say fatherfuckers. That'd be a blow to the fragile homophobe ego: to get yo ass beat by a buff gay nigguh wouldn't it?
Doubly so if you’r e racist. what're you gonna tell yo boys?
I used to rave alot and there was always a drag queen in the mix. You stoned on all sortsa drugs goin,
‘Damn dat girl's awfully muscular, oh hold on...whew, that was close!’

Real Life Ain't Shit!

2006-06-21T06:23:00.000-07:00

Real life can be so boring. You get up, go to work, miss the bus, take a taxi, get shit on by the boss for being late. Shit in the boss’s coffee when he’s out to the office, boring stuff. I get bitten by morbid boredom. I'm constantly walking down the street imagining shit happening, to the point where I just wanna backhand somebody.
You ever just wanna smack the shit outta someone?
I mean a complete stranger, just to see what’ll happen?
I mean a full-on swing around bitch slap. With the sound of the swing cranked up to ten and a lapel mic clipped to your hand so when you clap a muthafucka (or fathafucka) across the face-In slow motion too-like wooooosh-pishhhh!
You get to work that cool ninja pose for a few seconds before the cops come.

Racism 2006!!

2006-06-20T08:31:00.000-07:00

So I get on an elevator and this white woman switches her purse over to the other side.
Bitch I'm big thick black man!
I bust locks with my cock!
I eat cops!
What makes you think switchin your shit to other side's gonna stop a nigguh? That just makes me wanna stuff my hand in one ear and out the other, grab your purse and...(Tugging purse but it’s stuck inside her head)
Shit!
(I pull my hand out and wipe it off on my leg.)
Purseface. I'll shove my hand in yo mouth and throw you down the stairs...

It's 2006 What the fuck is racism still doin here?
Racism’s like dat nigguh dat happens to pop by during dinner, stays for a movie then says:
'Can I crash on your couch?'
Naw you can't I crash on my couch!
It’s still at the shop getting re-upholstered cuz I couldn’t wash out the stank from yo funky ass.
Blue Nuit watchin muthafucka.
2006 and racism’s still in the house!
Even cleasning products are racist! Apartied nigguhs. If your ever bother reading the instructions guys-I know YOU don’t-they’ll say stupid racist shit like, don’t mix with other cleaning agents.

And you guys know what I’m taklin about, you need the cleaning power of the gods to scour away the months of party gunk clutching your floors, the filth-burst colonies around your light switches, the dark lands of Mordor around knobs and door frames n’ shit.

So you try mixing powders and liquds and the liquid be like:

‘Nuh uh, I ain’t getting with DAT nigguh, he ain’t anti-bacterial.’

I be mixin shit like the Wicked Witch of the West on crack and still, islands of powder be floatin in the shit. I pour the shit into a blender (vvvvvvvt!) And the powder be up against the glass like brothers when they hear sirens.
Fuck it, lemme just mix liquid and liquid.
One’s blue the other’s yellow, I pour one into the other they start bubblin, the bucket starts crackin. Two seconds later the yellow liquid put the blue liquid at the bottom of the bucket like a nigguh on the back of the bus,

But yellow and blue make green!

Screw Myspace

2006-06-19T06:30:00.000-07:00

Yes yes, not exactly an original concept, but your perspective really changes when your friend's page is deleted with no real reason why. Just a form letter with vague details. No specifics and no chance to reinstate your page. My firneds are appealing, but will Myspace-I mean Murdoch really care?

Sure it's fun, but at what cost? They're making loads of cash off of us. Yes granted it's a great networking tool, but honestly what isn't these days?
What can one really get out of Myspace over any other network?

We need something fresh, something new, something that won't bend you over for these 'friends' that are companies offering to sell you culture...

Teh battle continues...

How many of my fellow bloggers are procrastin8rs?

2006-06-12T11:39:00.000-07:00

Oh yeah, you know the type,

The guy getting dressed as he's running for his bus. The kid doing his homwork on the metro. That girl applying make up-with hilarious results-on the bus.

this is the society of 'push that back'
'Don't pay til 2010!'

'I'll do it tomorrow.'

Tomorrow may nevedr come.

You ever have a robot call your house?
A robot with your name in its mouth.

You've gone far, far beyond people calling you anymore on those late credit card payments. Next they'll send one to your house...

Montreal is the new London

2006-06-10T10:21:00.000-07:00

Jesus cocksucking Christ!

We're making London look like the Sahara!

I'm keepin an eye out for a big ass boat and twos of everything..

You eva take a shit and...

2006-06-08T22:36:00.000-07:00

You be puttin all sortsa work in, droppin some satisfyin business, only to get up and see that the gawtdamn bowl's empty?

It's like yo' shit's so dense it just sank to the bottom of the sewer and knocked a croc out. His friends be swimmin' by:

'Yo, wussup with Lockjaw?'

'...Damn, look like a nigguh been eatin alotta fibre...'

Freecam Bitches

2006-06-07T10:03:00.000-07:00

Hey! Is it me or are all you guys on Myspace getting deluged by these attention-starved tarts who have cams in their rooms and need to be told how hot they are cuz the lights are kinda low upstairs. What the fuck, I get one almost every day, If I want pussy I'll call your mom, at least she's not hounding me for approval

The beast within

2006-06-06T06:58:00.000-07:00

Strip away all the technology, all the convenience, all the civilized comforts of the modern day, washed away by the violence of nature. Leave us to fend for ourselves without a can opener or a microwave or a cellphone and who are we? What are we? What will the thin veneer of the modern day reveal once its stripped by a catastorphe like Katrina? Will we be human or barbarian? The answer may surprise you

Are we in a war-torn ccountry? No? Then shut up.

2006-06-01T06:13:00.000-07:00

Be thankful you HAVE traffic to be stuck in.
Be thankful you HAVE a house that's messy
Be thankful you HAVE an overpriced supermarket
Be thankful you HAVE shopping malls and parks
Be thankful it's raining water and not bombs

Don't you complain you top 10%-of-the-free-world-freeloader.

Are we in a war-torn country? No? Then shut up.

Ninja Please.

2006-05-31T07:07:00.000-07:00

'Oh shit!

Dat nigguh done ate a whole bag o' Oreos! Move it move it move it!'

And the blood flows from your brain to your stomach to handle dat shit.
And y'all know what dat meeans: system shut down. Black folk call it niggeritis,
The Japanses call it nijaritis...Ninja please.

Wutta Disasta Hole!

2006-05-28T22:24:00.001-07:00

What's this?

Wutta distasta hole!

Welcome home
To the zone
Seeped deep down to the bone
Where you've cloned the rows you've sown
To keep your dome from gettin' grown
Hey
To each his own...

Montreal weather's like a schizophrenic girlfriend.

2006-05-27T08:09:00.000-07:00

So it's been awhile snce I went out on the town. I suppose the weather tunred me into a hermit. Montreal weather's like a schizophrenic girlfriend. I think we forget ourselves when the weather takes over. When it ain't sunny, neither are we. It's incredible how rain can affect one's attitude.

I love rain. But I think it's a gyp when there's no thunder or lightning. When you were a kid your parents had an explanation for just about everything and when there was thunder & iightning you were probably scared at one point. What'd mommy say to her little white kids? 'Oh that's just God bowling and his wife taking pictures with a flash.'

What did a Black momma say?

'God's just washin' the stank mutha fukkuhs off the street.' No explanation for the thunder or the lightning, just the rain. And that's all you had to work with. When you're poor and stressed out, all your imagination skills are commandeered for survival techniques. Makin that bowl a chili last a week. Collectin bottles to buy a quart of milk. Sewin different ripped up shirts into one. I'd get ridiculed by all the kids for a shirt made of three. Even the sleeves weren't the gawtdamn same. Nowadays it's in fashion. Ahead of my time. Again!

What was survival for the poor back in the day has become the delicay of the privileged. I bet your boss over at the Office knows more slang than I do.

The Hole You Can't Fill

2006-05-26T06:50:00.000-07:00

9 to 5
Times 5
Take a deep breath and dive
In this sea of mediocrity that blankets his hive
A living lie
Powered by the hour by the toils of you and I
2 out 7 days reserved to feel alive...

If you're a guy, you ain't neva bought no plant!

2006-05-01T15:28:00.000-07:00

Plants are incredible creatures. All they need is water dirt & sun. Water, dirt and sun! That's it! Okay and maybe a little bit of love. Now you buy the plant, the dirt's taken care of. All you gotta worry about is the water and sun. you put the plant next to a window, the sun's takin care of business, so all you gotta worry about is the water.
Chances are, if you're a guy you ain't bought no plant. Your girlfriend momma or sister bought that shit for you. Chances are if you are a guy and hava plant it's a cactus.

Most guys I know don't have plants.

Dirt and sun is doin they job, so why can't you get your water on? Every place I know gotta tap. But plants are resilient bastards. If you ain't givin them no liquid love they downsize. Inside the plant it’s like:

“Captain we ain't gettin enough nutrients, dirt's turn to sand, three stems is dried the fuck out, we lost the flower on the west side, wutta we do?”
“Gawtdamn! That nigguh can take a shower for half an hour, but we can't get a cup of dat good shit? Retreat! Pull it in boys!”

And they be droppin leaves like your fingers get cold in the winter. When stress comes plants cut they losses. Damn, if humans were designed like that I'd be in a fuckin wheelchair right now.

I'm fired?

Plop!

There go my arm.

Evicted?

Plop!

There go my leg.

Your last boyfriend was...better?

PLOP!

There go my dick.

Ever have lips so chapped...

2006-04-24T17:54:00.000-07:00

that when you sneeze they explode and you start tastin' blood?!

Oh shit! I'm stuck in zombie mode....

2006-04-17T11:40:00.000-07:00

And I'm, doin' the same shit over&over&over&over&over&over&over&over&over&
over&over&over&over&over&over&over&over&over&over&over&over&over&over&
over&over&over&over&over&over&over&over&over&over&over&over&over&over&
over&over&over&over&over&over&over&over&over&over&over&over&over again!!

I've just realized something in my adult years...

2006-04-14T12:01:00.000-07:00

Bugs Bunny liked to dress in drag alot.

Bus Drivers need love too

2006-04-08T02:33:00.000-07:00

I came 2 a realization the other day.

Over and above my effort to say 'Bonjour' and 'Merci' to the Bus Drivers, I realized I was just following a self-imposed formality without heart. I've noticed especially with most teens- that people just show their pass and move on. Like the Bus Driver is just a robot scanning monthly authorizations for boardings. It's fuckin rude. So I figured I should give the courtesy of thanking the Bus Driver for a safe trip whenever I get off. But I never really did it with heart.

Now I do. I look 'em in the eye-and keep that contact, 'Bonjour' when I get on, 'Merci' when I show 'em my pass. 'Merci et bon nuit.' when I get off. It makes such a big difference. They light up because you've taken the time to acknowledge them as a human being. It's important to treat everyone as humanely as possible. Sometime's I'll pass a homeless person asking for change. I may not have money, but I at least try to say sorry, because in most cases I'm damn broke myself.

We City Kids forget these small but important courtesies in life. If you were travelling space by yourself for months on end, you'd practically fuck the very next human you saw.

Let's try to appreci8 each other...

You are what you eat, and if you had seafood...

2006-04-06T10:54:00.000-07:00

I ain't goin down south. Sorry. I'm down to go down, but only on a vegetarian lass. Organic? Even better. Vegan? I clasp my hands bend my knee to the church of the holy honeypot.

Lucky Penny!!

2006-03-31T05:29:00.000-08:00

1982!!!

Grade 2.

My teacher is Mrs. Nurse, a squat black woman with flawless lego hair , a mole and glasses all in brown. Cute old lady now that I think about it. Anyways, while waiting in line for her to correct a paper I casually write 'fuck you' on one of her desk papers. Not to her, just for the fuck of it.

She eventually sees it and asks the class who did it. No one responds so one by one she asks everyone to write it. I foolishly take My time to write it differently from the scribble I did. Mrs. Nurse immediately figured out it was Me.

Lunch time she holds me back in an empty classroom to call My dad. I'm bawling cuz my pops was the type to beat my ass for putting the toilet paper in the wrong way.

She comes back to a tearful Me to and brusquely tells me to leave for lunch and that she didn't call the abusive fucker.

Damn.

That wuz punishment enuff.

I look back now and laff.

Jesus is dead and nobody knows what he looks like.

2006-03-21T11:03:00.000-08:00

Jesus is dead and nobody knows what he looks like.

Y'all worshipping Michael Angelo's brother…

The Church: Draw Jesus, Michael Angelo. So says the Lord.
You've…put on a couple pounds Michael Angelo...

Michael A: S'all that foreign food.

Later…

Michael A: Dude, wanna be Jesus?

Michael A’s bro: Pfft. Chya.

Michael A’s: …Oh that's good, your arms like that.

Michael A’s bro: You grew another chin!

Michael A’s: Hold that pose…Yeah, I got tits too.

Michael A’s bro: How much they paying you?

Michael A’s: My weight in gold. I'ma ask ‘em to extend my deadline.

So! When I'm sayin ‘Jesus PJ Harvey Kietel Christ!!’
or ‘M'put m'foot in him Jesushole!’ I'm talkin 'bout the fake Jesus,
not the too cool for rule dude who hung out with sex workers and afropunks….

I've met many a monster in my day...

2006-03-19T07:48:00.000-08:00

Some of which have been close friends...

You Vs. Your Parents

2006-03-16T13:06:00.000-08:00

The difference between your music and your parents' music is that they're still listening to the shit they used to when they were fifteen. Hendrix, Zepplin, James Brown, Sabbath, Aretha, Janis Joplin, Curtis Mayfield., etc. Who here is gonna listen to 50 Cent when they're 50? Who's gonna rock 'My humps my humps my lovely lady lumps' when your humps are more like klumps?

A Whole New Respect 4 Shakespeare

2006-03-15T12:41:00.000-08:00

WARNING!: The following has a spoiler!!!

Any of y'all read Titus or seen the movie starring Anthony Hopkins?

Rent it. It's a funky, futuristic, bloody interpretation of this Shakespearean masterpiece.

What's more it's got a momma joke in it.

No shit.

There's a scene where a Moor has been fucking the queen and her sons are freaked that people will finally know about it and one of them says:

Son: Our mother is undone!!
Moor: Villain, I've done thy mother.

No shit!

I freaked out and reround that scene five times, then picked up my Shakespeare's Classics book. Looked up Titus, found the scene, and lo and behold, Shakespeare wrote a momma joke!

I've gained a whole new level of respect...

Fuck all y'all punk-ass parents

2006-03-13T10:58:00.000-08:00

Yeah you. If you smoke in front of your kid you're a PUNK. 'Oh, but we're outside, so it's okay'. Yes, truer words have never been spoken. FUCK YOU. There's no excuse. Greeeeeeat role model, Do-As-I-Say-and Not-What-I-do Messiah. Like your kid will respect you. That's like telling your kid not to hit his little sister, but you'll smack him if he gets out of line. Your child shouldn't even KNOW you smoke until they're grown up and out the fatherfuckin' house. MAYbe. The next generation's got the biggest job yet, try to smooth 'em in huh?

Ain't nuthin worse than waking up starvin'...

2006-03-09T19:27:00.000-08:00

and havin' to go for a shit.

I mean, which do you do first?

You hobble out to the kitchen and look for somehin to hold you, ANYthing to sustain you through the marathon shit that's been building in your bowels overnight, but no one wants to eat when they gotta shit. And no captain, you do NOT have permission to eat while you shit.

On the other hand you can evacuate before fueling up...

You sittin there on the throne pushin, yet, you ain't got enough strength to get the shit out. BUT, you *can* use the hunger pangs to help with the contractions. Lord help you if you're constipated

Tariq Kahn & The Highbreed

2006-03-02T09:40:00.000-08:00

Ladies & gentlemen in the Montreal area. Every Wednesday 10:00@ Jello bar My boy Tariq and his crew rip it UP. Everything from Afrobeat to soul, r n'b, funk, reggae hip hop and more done not only live but pulled COMPLETELY OUT OF THEIR ASSES. On the spot improv at its finest. You can't GET any better. DJ Dav spins house funk and plenty of tunage in between sets to keep it moving. Add the fact that I'm doing stand up before each set and it's all over. Last nite's shenanigans were riCOCKulous. And this goes down every WEDNESDAY no matter how shitty it is outside. 2 for 1 beers too so you've really got no excuse.

Jellobar! 151 Ontario East just two blox east of St-Laurent www.jellobar.com

See you then.

Yes, Mr. Nazi Priminister

2006-01-24T16:18:00.000-08:00

So!

Prepare for woesome times as gays won't live in matrimony and pot will still be as bad as coke or the next big thing in Montreal-according to Cali- Crystal Meth.

Funny How Harper ( too close to Harpy 4 my tastes) is against gay marraige, yet for the next few years he'll be taking it thick from Bush (even more ironic)

True,

I couldn't believe a word that dribbled from Primesinister Worn n' Worried, but at least he was semi-liberal thinking. Layton's wutev and so's the Bloc, but I'm glad that the Green Party got somewhere...kinda.

This new Conservative-led America Jr. will stab itself, licking wounds for awhile after the dust of pestilence settles. Should be an interesting few years-if we last that long.

Congratulations Canada. you got what you deserved.

Melanin Tax!!!

2006-01-20T00:30:00.000-08:00

Yes folks!

I got a ticket for BEATING ON A POT ON ST-LAURENT AT 3 IN THE MORNING
just after coming out of a hip hop night at Saphir. We were beatboxing
and rapping and I was hammering out beats on a pot. Cops came. When
me and my friends protested they called in three more squad cars. Ther
were about 40 people or more outraged. I contested the ticket which
basically read 'beating on a pot in public'. Didn't get an answer in
almost 6 months, I forgot about the ticket and eventually moved.

Last nite my friend got pulled over for a 'routine check' (he was
white, and still is by the way.) you can go to http://chimpzilla.blogspot.com/
for a piece of his mind. Anyways, turns out there's been a WARRANT out
for me and they placed me UNDER ARREST. Punched it up and the ticket
(which was probably $120 or there abouts plus a Bullshit Fee of $50)
and whatever extras they decided to add in the past ccouple years
comes out to $379!!

That's rent.

Plus groceries.

And a good night with an albino midget with no teeth.

So!

I'm throwing a MelaninTax Party where people will dress up as a cop or a
thug. There'll be tunes a DJ and donation jar. Hopefully this will provide
the opportunity to not only soften the blow but help WORLDS COLLIDE!!!!
in my network of friends.

I suggest the same if any kind of BULLSHIT such as this come syour way!!!

Cheerz and thanx 4 listening

(oLo)

Can cats see ghosts?

2006-01-15T22:07:00.000-08:00

Gawdamn my cat freax me out. Okay it's my roomate's cat but it might as well be mine cuz we hang plenty. He's jet black and his nake is Onyx. I just call 'im Nigguh.

Then again aI call all my close friends Nigguh.

Anyways there'll be times when his eyes dart around and he follows something, trying to paw it once in awhile.

It ain't a fly.

It's not lint either. Lint doesn't move that fast. And My eye sight's good enough to catch a fruitfly so like, wtf?

Sometimes Onyx looks at me then follows something across the room. I realize that he's looking at someting else. I don't feel any different, like there's something in the room. Onyx never freaks out or is scared so I don't think it's bad.

So here's my theory:

Cats' perception of reality differs from ours. We as humans percieve time/space (epoxpanse; ie the epochs of expanse) as a linear thing and are preoccupied with this plane and our problems. What the fuck do cats do all day? Their general abilities are pretty limited. Their speech is very simple, as is their vocaublary of body language. They're emotional and can be quite independent-layin up under five different houses and brands of catfood if they're the outdor type. Sure they're smart, but they can't build bombs. They sleep and eat and purr and fight and fuck and that's about it.

But their sight is uncanny. They really study shit. Dogs are all about their noses cats are about the eyes. I figure they pick up on afterimages 'ghosts' to us. People or events that are happenning in other planes of reality we can't percieve, not even with our technology. (Check my blog 'Gettin Quantum' fo' mo' o' dat sheeyit)

Are they catching past and future events? Cats' vision shifts between various epoxpanse phases: they'll see me standing there and see someone-or something walk through my face. If I make a move to touch Onyx he'll respond, soon as he's bored with me, he'll shift his focus on that other fucker walking through my room. Maybe Onyx is watching worms slither through the soil of some other reality.

Any other theories?

TIT BLOCKING

2006-01-12T07:12:00.000-08:00

What is tit blocking you may ask. Well, cock blocking is when a guy gets in the way of you getting some play. I find cock-bocking most offensive when it's a 'trusted' friend who gets beetween you and a swwet catch and ends up wth her, your efforts wasted, your blood boiling. Tit blocking is happening to a buddy of mine.

Ladies,

If you like a guy and it's clear to you that he's not interested (put aside your raging hormones and think clearly for a second-and yes, I understand this is difficult for most people) READ THE SIGNS, drops tests on him, but do not, I repeat DO NOT tit block!

Ex: Inviting your interest to a party full of gorgeous women and practically telling everyone in the room he's yours (shouldn't that be his choice?) or physically getting between your interest and his. Breaking up convos, changing the vibe to suit you etc. It's selfish and only makes dude like you even less!

This goes for guys too. Don't cock block a lady-friend, she'll think you're a wimpy piece of shit.

I hope I've made myself clear.

Diniyalarmour: Informed Gambling

2006-01-09T13:09:00.000-08:00

So I know someone that's gone into the stock market after educating himself about it. He's doing well for his first month, he made money, lost a bit, but that's all part of the game. I don't know much about stocks, but I fgure if you educate yourself on any game and be humble, you'll know how to play it. This person met a friend of mine at a party and somehow discoverd that they're approaching the market the same way: Pennystocks (if you don't hava helluva lotta money this apparently is a good way to start) He just happens to be a little more seasoned. My seasoned friend says playing the stock market is a form of gambling. My other friend threw up his diniyalarmour: "No it's not" . He answerd a little too qiuuickly for my tatstes.
"Dude, it sooo is" I added
He sheild was still up,: head shaking with "Nopes and another 'No it's not' "
"...It's informed gambling" I surmised.
"Exactly!" seasoned chicken said.
"Hmmm...Informed gambling,,,informed gambling."
After a week and me bringing it up again, my friend doesn't agree.
Now. Is this just diniyalarmour? That thick invisible callous that protects our frail ego? Does he not want to think he's merely gambling? I think it's fine because it IS informed. Am I wrong? Or does my friend feel insecure about the lowly term?

Hmmmm...

Distributing their disease from sea to sea

2006-01-05T21:51:00.000-08:00

with their seeds that keep Big Momma displeased
Telling the ladies what to do with their bodies
And demand more man wars to fuel their parties

Gettin Quantum On Yo Ass

2006-01-04T12:52:00.000-08:00

I was asked what a quantum bubble is and figured I might as well share my geek theory. I'm no scientist, just a Babylon 5 watchin' Star Trekkin, comic book readin', ' ass-shakin beatboxin', world-buildin' freak with shit coursin' the cranium-badatted by a few scientific articles :o
Feel free to lambaste me!

You know the phrase 'don't bust my bubble'? or 'he's in my space'?

Your quantum bubble is the perception field you've grown around you. It's always in flux although there are aspects of it that are pretty rigid or unchanging-unless some cosmic life experience completely changes your worldview. Being quantum is all about your effect on the world. If a scientist performs an experiment, the very fact that he or she is watching it AFFECTS THE EVENT. Ev'rythang's made up of the same elements, just in different concentrations.

So you will affect something by just being there. Being there during someone else's argument. What's being held back in your presence? What's being said because your business ain't yours. Who's using you as a projctile.

Walking the street askew. You pass a mailman and he drops all of his letters. You didn’t touch him, but your energy touches folk. Good luck ain't nuttin’ but being prepared at the right place at the right time. We are all the captains of our destinies on the ship of our souls in the sea of life.

Set sail and prevail!

Ooh...

---
oo9
0

Check out:

'What the bleep Do We Know?!’

Oi!

2005-12-31T15:14:00.000-08:00

watch this space